one of the most difficult things...

...is trying to prepare yourself for the unknown. obviously, it's not known because nobody has been there. nobody has done whatever you're about to do.

in my case, i'm still trying to figure out whether everything i'm doing in life is right for me. one day, it'll be fabulous, the next, life smacks me back a few steps and makes me try again. it's so hard when you try and try to make everything perfect and then it all gets knocked away-like nothing was done in the first place.

i've changed my mind about this project that i'm doing four times. i have to give my teacher the proposal at 12 today. i missed class this morning to try and desperately fix it for the last time but all that did was make me realize i don't want to do it that way anymore.

how can you be so certain that your degree is going to be everything you want it to be? my project has to reflect what i'm going to be doing with my degree and my life. if i knew that, i wouldn't be so stressed. i change my mind about my life plan everyday. how will i know if i'll love working at a college or a hospital until i actually try. all this project is doing is making me realize that i probably don't want to do what i was so excited about.

thanks, sem. i owe you one. =/