Missing Alexander Already

My time with Alexander came to an end last night. After a couple months with him as my main job, I came to love and care for him as if he was my own kid. Being an adopted child from Russia, I knew I had my work cut out for me because of his adjustments in the states. He grew into such a sweet toddler, I cried and cried when I left him last night. Thinking back on all the things he's learned since I've been with him-how to say yes please, understanding what things are, asking for more food, saying no thank you, speaking simple words, how to run, how to sleep without screaming, hugs and kisses-my heart is full knowing that I helped him learn these things. I helped him know that people love him and are going to take care of him. Tearing up just thinking about him, I'm so sad that I probably won't see him again until Christmas. Alexander, you were my sunshine this summer. Thank you so much for teaching me to remember to be kind to others and to take the time to get to learn about them. I love you, Monkey.

Update on Grandad

Hello friends.
Today, I'm writing on a very personal note. I'd like to ask you to keep my family in your prayers. I came home last night from work and was greeted with news from Dad about Grandad. He's being released from the hospital tomorrow (if everything goes well with moving the right equipment into the house) and will be coming home to hospice. It's my understanding that things will probably progress quickly from there. I think I'm okay with it too, which is sort of weird to me. I think I'm just so ready for him not to be in pain anymore. I'm so worried about my Grandma though. I have this terrible feeling that she's going to not be able to handle it very well. So today, in the house by myself, I'm praying for my grandparents and my family.
For Grandad-may he not be in pain and be ready to meet the face of God.
For Grandma-may she not be worried about anything. I pray she gets rest and is full of peace knowing that Grandad won't be in pain when he's in Heaven and to know he'll be watching down on her and still holding onto her heart every day.
For Dad, Sherri, and Dan-I pray that they know that their dad is in a much better place and happy. Grandad will be able to jump up and down knowing that the cancer didn't really beat him because he got the better end of the deal.
And for the rest of the family-I hope we don't turn our backs and are angry at God during this time. God's in charge of our lives whether we like to think so or not For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD and He's going to go through with what He knows is best. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Friends, I ask that you be patient with me during this time. If I'm in a mood, just give me a hug or tell me it's going to be okay. Make me smile and remember what's good. I love you all. Thanks for praying with me.

where did you go?

Monkey feeding himself breakfast. Can you stand it?!

Oh, summer...where are you?

Ever since I took this amazing nannying job, I haven't had a summer. Now, I have about 2 weeks left in Warrenton and no sign of vacation or relaxation is in sight. I'm thinking about taking the last week off from everything so I can relax and get everything done I need to do. I have to finish moving stuff into my room (I know, it still isn't done!) and go visit grandparents, especially Grandad. I know I'm going to regret if I don't get down and see him before I go back to school. Plus, I have to get all my RA stuff together and start on my door decs and thinking of bulletin boards. Yikes.

And with all that going on, I'm sitting here blogging. I guess I can't complain too bad. But, in my defense, I am sick. I got home last night and was up all night sick. It's a nasty little bug I picked up from Joe and Susan. Bleck.

And a quick update on Alexander because I know some of you love him as much as I do...and I love him sooo much! I'm going to miss this little one when I leave...especially after yesterday. He woke up and I went to get him out of his crib. He showered me with kisses and squeezes (his new favorite thing to do when I get him up) and then he looked at me and said Emmmm I luh oooh. omg, my heart melted. Seriously, it was in a puddle. Then, all day, he would come up to me, hug me, and say luh ooh. He also learned that if he holds my face still, he can bite me. Lovely. I love him anyway.

Oops, I did it again

Hello, long lost blog! I'm glad to see you're still here. I'm so sorry I have been ignoring you...I've been blogging in my mind (which in 10 years will do me good. lol)

Well...not much has happened in my life. I've just been busy with Alexander (who is still as freakin cute as ever!) and working, working, working! I'm rolling in cash right now (Praise God) but, of course, will be making a trip to the mall tomorrow. Sigh. You know me~money burns holes in my pocket. Alexander has been keeping me on my toes so this money has been well earned. This week, we discovered smoothies and his extended love for three of my favorite things~Lady GaGa, Starbucks, and Target. And! He's really into watching the Food Network now. It cracks me up. He sits on my lap and watches and concentrates and nods his head yes like he understands. The other day, someone was making something with a banana and he licked the screen. It cracked me up. All of you know how much he loves his banana and the weird stories I have to prove it. One day this week, I was driving home from work and Alexander started crying. He was so pitiful and his bottom lip was so far out. He just kept crying "nana. nana." I turned around at a stoplight and asked him if he was hungry and he shook his head yes and kept crying "nana". Truly hearbreaking. I got home and looked in his bag and nobody had given him his banana. Yes, one simple banana can make or break this kid's day. His love for bananas mirrors my love for wine, though and I'm starting to think he's really suppose to be my kid. After a long day at work, sometimes I'm in the kitchen crying "wine. wine. wine."haha

I'm going to back track a bit-last weekend, I went to the beach for a visit with the grandparents. On our way down, we got a phone call that Grandad was going back into the hospital. :( He was in the ICU until Sunday night. They moved him into a stepdown room (a little less than ICU, a little more care than a regular room). He's been a sick, sick guy, though. He went into the hospital and found out he had a blood infection and clot on top of cancer in two spots. God love him, he's pushing on. Today, I talked to Grandma and he wanted to go home but was afraid to be there alone (since Grandma's at the shop) so he's in a rehab place to get his strength back. He starts chemo again Tuesday. The doctors and our family thought it was the end and Grandad said he wants a fighting chance and he's ready to put it up again.

I've been looking at old pictures of family and friends lately. There's a huge box with a bunch of them in it. I found pictures from Mom and Dad's wedding, all of our family vacations, babies, and so much more. There has been so much laughter over some of these pictures lately. It's nice to hear the stories (or what they remember) and to imagine what everyone is thinking in the pictures. I think that's a huge part of why I love having myself surrounded by pictures~they make you remember things you wouldn't normally remember. I found an adorable picture of me when I was a baby. Grandad is in the backyard holding me and I'm smiling down at him. And for the last week, I've been crying every time I think of him. Right before I left the ICU room, I told him I loved him and I'd be back soon and he told me how proud of me he was and he said (get your tissue ready) "I love you to eternity and back." (And yes, I'm tearing up right now) Sigh.

I've also been battling some sort of weird sickness this week. Sunday night, I got home and had a terrible migraine. I could feel it coming on and I knew it was going to be a bad one. Sometime between then and Monday morning, I threw up twice and spiked a fever. I stayed in bed all day (thank God I didn't have to work) and rested up for Tuesday and Alexander. I got up and went to work and threw up there before he woke up. Yuck. Luckily, I have the world's best boss and she had me take it easy this week and work on VBS stuff. Then, I developed a weird rash and went to the doctor. She wasn't any help and said she didn't know what it was and had never seen anything like it. Fabulous. She did give me a shot of something for my migraine (which I still have...6 days later!) The shot worked and I felt better until it wore off. Excedrin and coke have been my best friends. Hopefully, I'll wake up in the morning, not feeling like P Diddy, but feeling 110% better!

Oh yes, I almost forgot. Monday, I helped Tommy and Katie, along with their family and friends, celebrate Olive turning two! I can't believe that. Kristen Gardner (who I ADORE!) shot some really sweet pictures of her. Check out her blog www.kristengardnerblog.com to see them! And then Thursday was Camdon's first birthday. He wasn't feeling well but I'm sure he still enjoyed the day. Love you buddy!

Next week is VBS (which will be crazy) so I'm sorry if I don't update this as often or as long as I should. If you're really interested in stalking me, follow me on Twitter. emlaaay :)

holy moley

wooooow...a TON has happened since the last time i blogged. care for an update? you're in luck; it's right below!



the last time i blogged, i was leaving the beach to head to burkeville to see my lovely grandparents. before leaving, i went by grandma and grandad's house to hang out for a bit. as i got there, there was a guy (who totally looked like timbaland) delievering grandad's wheelchair. that was probably one of the hardest things to see...grandad down to nothing and sitting in a wheelchair. his humor is still there, though, as he asked the guy how fast it goes and if he can lay it back so he take a nap. :)



i made it to burkeville in one piece and got to spend some time with them. the next day, i got up, went to church, saw my fabulous aunt donna, and then went back to the house and saw my fabulous aunt debbie, who i hadn't seen in like 2 1/2 years since before she moved to georgia. i hated to leave them but i had to get back to work that week.



alexander cut two teeth before i went to california. hopefully, he's done for a while~poor baby was just miserable.



i left for wise thursday with james and allen. i could not have asked for two better people to travel with...our car was full of jokes and laughter, my favorite! plus, good music and singing 80's hits is always good in my book.



friday, we left for cincinnati international airport which is actually in northern kentucky and not ohio at all...fail. the flight out was a little rough and i was soo super nervous. plus, gaining 3 hours was interesting. i was exhausted.

saturday, we walked and walked and climbed hills and walked some more. we spend time at seaport village (yay!) and went to the padre's game. the o's beat them (again, yay even though it's a team from md). walking up and down all those hills was insane but a good way to work out.

sunday, we went on bus tours of san diego~balboa park, old town, la jolla and beaches, and other random fun things along the way. it was sooo much fun but i got burnt! i'm a nice brown color now.

monday, my buddy howard took us to UCSD for the conference. while some of the things didn't go as smooth as everyone had hoped, it was still a ton of fun! opening was a blast and SAACURH won best roll call! :)

tuesday and wednesday were programs and boardroomy things. i wore dresses. boardroom is intense and I LOVED IT! wednesday night, wise did swap shop. i walked away with tons more than i came with...so did james. 17 t shirts. holy cow! that kid now has 2 weeks worth of shirts and then some!

thursday, we checked out, i called howard back, and wise and uk went to the zoo. omg, i love the zoo. san diego has THE BEST ZOO IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! my favorite animals were...the pandas, of course! and the polar bear. he was soo stinking funny. sigh.

we made our way to the airport when the zoo closed and waited and waited and waited. our flight was suppose to take off at 11 but it didn't take off until 11:45, 15 minutes after all san diego flights have to be off the ground. i wonder if delta got a fine for that...okay, i know they did. the only good thing about being delayed was i got to see evan lysacek in the airport. yummy. the best part was talking to the guy who picked him up...he didn't know who he was. silly guy.

we got back to wise and i turned around and went home. good lord. driving after only having about 3 hours of sleep was crazy. me and allen made it safe, though. we entertained each other and kept one another awake. we did, however, pull over in a sheetz parking lot and slept for a while...oops. haha

annnnnnnd....i got home last night to find out my baby sister is getting married! yayyyy! congrats, erica and steve!

when i went to bed last night, it had been 52 hours since i had gotten out of one. i fell asleep almost right away and slept for 15 hours. crazy. chinese food tonight and back to reality tomorrow.

thanks for reading. hope it was mildly entertaining for you. california was amazing for me but i'm so glad to be home!

Beachy Keen

The beach is just beachy keen this week. There is a Latin Fest going on down here and the National Sand Soccer Championship for North America this weekend. It's amazing. Sand soccer is SO much fun to play. (Good luck to all the teams!) Plus, the music on 33rd was really good last night and I enjoyed the fireworks and World Cup coverage while laying in the sand.

Have you ever noticed how footprints look in the sand? I was walking along the beach today and turned around to take a picture of my footprints. I glanced over to my left and saw a crazy maze of bird tracks. How weird is it that birds hop on the ground? I loved looking at the prints, almost telling a crazy story of a bird lost and spinning around in circles when he could have just flown to wherever he was going. Random but true.

I came to the beach on Thursday. I came down to see Grandad. He isn't doing very well. He went for fluids yesterday and was getting a handicap parking pass, a wheelchair, and information about a feeding tube. Seeing him shrivel down to just about nothing has been very hard. I think what's even harder is just his body is wearing out-his mind is still there and sharp. He cracked a few jokes to me but then was worn out from laughing. Grandad used to have this crazy funny belly laugh. I would give anything to hear him laugh like that again.

I leave the beach this afternoon to go to Burkeville to visit Grandma and Papaw. I'm excited to see Aunt Debbie. It's been about 2 1/2 years. Can't believe that. I'll update when I get home tomorrow.

Oh-I got my tragus pierced yesterday. It didn't hurt at all. A little uncomfortable while Chris put the jewlery in, but great other than that. It was cool to get it done and then walk around on the sand right afterwards. Perks of the beach, right? :)

An Unusual Day

Hello, friends!

I'm having a very unusual day that I thought I'd blog about (because what else am I going to do?!)

I woke up at 4:30 this morning, as usual, to go to Alexander's house and nanny my squirt. I've been taking him with me to Kingdom's Kids this week. The program starts at 9. I knew I wasn't working but I was still going to take him to hang out and such. He didn't wake up until 8:45. That's the longest he's ever slept...EVER. I was getting a little worried but he didn't have a fever and seemed to be acting normal...until we got downstairs. Oyi.

He ate yogurt and pears for breakfast. Usually, he's very independent but he wanted me to feed him this morning and every time he pointed to his cup, I had to hold it while he drank out of it. Then, he screamed in the car to town. I think his teeth are bothering him again. :(

I took him into the center, signed him in, and ran. lol Make someone else deal with him for a bit. My plan was to come home, take a nap, shower, and then go out. I got home and decided I wasn't really tired so I took a shower (for an hour!) and now, here I am. I feel a little bad because we talk about the moms who drop their kiddos off and then go home and sleep but here I am doing the same thing. He drove me crazy this morning, but I miss my little snuggles. I think I may pick him up a little early and take him home to play. It's raining, otherwise, we'd go to the park.

Tomorrow, I'm only with Alexander a half day. I'll take him to KK with me and leave at 1 without him. It's going to be so weird. But! I'll be headed down to la playa so I'm SO SUPER EXCITED! I'll be staying on the beach in the penthouse so yay me! It'll be a nice mini vaca and hopefully, I'll get some sun before I head out west (which is a week from tomorrow...can you believe that?!).

I'm off to lay on the couch and watch some trashy daytime tv. Love to you all. <3