To A New Year!

It's almost time to say goodbye to 2010 and while I enjoyed using the term oh ten, oh eleven doesn't seem to work. Sigh.
I'll cheat on this blog (because it's kinda late) and make lists :D

GREAT NEWS OF 2010
I had several amazing jobs, including nannying for Alexander!
I made tons of new friends!
I was named the AD-FA for VACURH!
I continued my growing love of FSR! <3
I turned 21!
I found out I was going to be an aunt!
I got to cuddle and snuggle with lots of sweet babies!
I offically became a comm major!
I got two tattoos!
I blogged a lot! Yay!
I found out about an amazing internship I got!

NOT SO GREAT NEWS OF 2010
My family lost an incredible member, my Grandad. I still miss him every day.
Switching majors is making me stay an extra semester in Wise.
I lost my best friends after graduation.
I didn't get to see my big sis as much.
I found out I was going to be an aunt and I gained a new brother in law (and soon to be sister in law).
I spent A LOT of money.
I was sick a lot and broke my foot. Twice.
FSR lost an amazing member to a house fire.
I had my first flat tire.

GOALS OF 2011
Continue to grow in my faith
Be a better person in general
Laugh once an hour, even when the times are rough
Tell the people I love I love them more
Be a better friend to those I've ignored
Study harder
Look for love in unexpected places
Cry more
One day a week, have an Emily day
Blog more, Tweet the same, and Facebook less
Find a grad school
SAVE money!
Love every moment

Well friends, I'm off to the beach to ring in the New Year. I hope 2010 was a blessing and 2011 an even greater one.
XOXO
Emily

rainy days

Oh duty,
Why do you always have to be on the nights that it monsoons? There are puddles up to my ankles outside and it's still pouring. Lucky me-I have to go play in the while trying to wade to Culbertson and back. Perhaps I'll build a boat between rounds.
<3

A Letter of Love

Dear Hamilton Beach Twelve Cup Coffee Maker,
I know we only met Friday when I bought you at midnight at an incredible Black Friday sale, and I know it's only been two days, but I think I love you already.
Yes, I know you rode in my trunk from Burkeville to Wise and stayed there last night but that's only because I wasn't back on campus yet. I couldn't bring you inside and not use you. But I'm back now and I brought you in. I've been known to unwrap on a first date but I've never brewed...until today. Maybe I'm moving so fast because I've missed coffee ever since my last maker and I broke up-he was only a four cup anyway.
But you. You are the great maker that even allows me to program you to start brewing before I wake up, which is a good thing since you're the first thing I think about when I wake up now.
I know it's fast, but I'm so glad we're going to be together for a very long time. Can't wait to taste your first cup.
Love,
Emily

there's good in the bad

Sometimes, I think I only blog about bad things in my life. My blog is where I can go to vent, bitch, and say exactly what is on my mind without having someone give me a look, a sigh, or roll their eyes in my direction. It's my blog. It's what I'm feeling.
So why have a blog that's public? Why have a blog where people can comment or text me after they've read it?
Because there's good in the bad.
This is a good blog entry.

I think I'm starting to heal. Finally.
I fell Monday morning when I was trying to get ready to go to class. I fell hard...and I fell good.
So good, in fact, that I ended up in the emergency room. yessssss (not).
The wonderful James Tiffany took me and waited with me (for four hours...) so they could take several x-rays and put me in a cast and on crutches. It's one of those casts I can take on and off so I'm not completely helpless, thank God. I can take it off when I shower and I've been taking it off to sleep. The first few nights, somehow, it would get tighter and I would wake up sometime during the middle of the night with a numb and blue foot...that's no good.
This might seem like the beginnings of a bad blog. No.
Last night, I took a shower without my cast and then walked (more hobbled) back to my room. Without my crutches. Without any cast. And I didn't scream in pain. Imagine that. It's been only a few days, but I think staying off of it, which has been the hardest thing to do. ever. and doing exactly what the doctor told me to do is actually working! I know...shocker.

Wednesday, I'm going to get up and do health and safety (as fast as I can) and then hit the road to Burkeville. I can't wait to spend time with my grandparents for Thanksgiving. It's the first time, in twenty one years, though, that I won't see my sister, mom, and dad. That's hard to believe. Mom, Dad, Erica, Steve, and maybe David if he flies in, will be in Warrenton. At least I'll be surrounded with some family.
Then back to Wise for a week of classes, a week of exams, and home for a month.
See, Christmas break is right around the corner...something for everyone to look forward to :)

here's a quickie

because not a bunch has happened to me since the last time i updated this thing.
i found out my brother is engaged. terrifying.
my sister found out she's having a girl. even more terrifying.
and i'm just stuck in wise. getting my school on.
thinking about running for rha president.
keeping up with the whole apo thing.
finishing out the semester for being an ra.
not coming back next.
just trying to survive until thanksgiving break.
next week.
then two days after that.
almost done.
almost done.
almost done.

FACT:

I'm going back to Wise tomorrow. I'm not ready for Fall Break to be over.

Vanilla Twilight

This song has been stuck in my head the last few days. I'm going to see Grandma tomorrow and I feel like this is how she's feeling right now. I know she's been missing Grandad a lot lately-I have two; I can't believe it's been a little over two months.
Anyway, I thought I'd share these fabulous lyrics with you :)
P.S. The singer of Owl City's girlfriend passed away and he wrote/dedicated this song for her so I think the lyrics speak volumes of how Grandma is feeling right now.

Vanilla Twilight by Owl City
The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

I'M A HOUSING NERD

Hello, folks.
I found on the September issue of the Pride (which I'm just now reading...it counts...it's still September) that I'm a housing nerd. :(
Sooo I'm going to share with you why I'm a nerd.

10. You're in constant search for icebreakers.
9. Acronyms are part of your everyday vocab. (Think VACURH, SAACURH, NACURH, POY)
8. Roll call is more of an interpretive dance than a raised hand and, "Here".
7. You make top ten lists for everything.
6. Light bulbs go off when you see things that could be used for bids, bulletin boards, or programs.
5. Every tee-shirt you own is Housing-related.
4. You spend more time in the Housing office than in your own room.
3. You get super psyched for conferences.
2. "No, I can't, I'm on call" is a legit excuse. (Every Tuesday, baby <3)
Aaaaannnnndddd...number 1...which is my FAVORITE because it defines me:
1. You twitch/spasm/spontaneously combust every time you hear the D-word. (it's a four letter word that makes me cringe)

So thank you, September issue of Pride, for helping me procrastinate my paper and making me laugh.

Nocturnal Nights

Oh, 11:46, how I loathe you right now. Perhaps it isn't you fault-in fact, it isn't at all-but all mine. I crashed in my bed after my 2:00 class and am now just waking up. How lucky for me, this will start another night of "yay! I'm awake!" feelings.
This is the 4th or 5th night that this has happened. I don't know what it is, maybe it's just Wise, but I love being awake at night here. 11:00 PM has turned into my 9 AM and I love to be awake and doing stuff last in the evening. Maybe it's because I know hardly anyone who is awake so I'm not distracted. This does not seem like much of a problem until you remember one small detail in my life-I am a college student. As much as I'm sure the professors would love it, they do not teach classes on my schedule. No. They teach classes on normal time. Day time. Who likes that anyway?
I feel like an owl or a raccoon. The night time excites me. The night time is full of the promise of the unknown. As the sun starts to rise, I feel myself wanting to hide. Maybe I can spin it to make me seem mysterious, like the sun makes my imperfections known and I want to hide them-but I'm not that mysterious, sadly.
Luckily, since I have nobody here to distract me, I'll be able to curl back into bed, perhaps with When Harry Met Sally or Breakfast at Tiffany's, and have some me time. Since I've been so sick lately, I could use a good rest night.
However, I'm starving. And since we're in Wise, there are two options for starving folks at night-Taco Bell and Huddle House. Hmm. Not really feeling either of those options. As I look around my little room, I finally see my dinner...a tomato and avocado salad, a caramel rice cake, and, if I'm feeling really into it, perhaps some chewy chips ahoy cookies.
Aren't you jealous of the nocturnal night now?

Confessions

Last spring, I blogged about confessions I was feeling. I reread them tonight and I feel the same thing now as I did then.
Let's visit them:

There are a few confessions that I think I need to let off my mind:
♥ It scares me that I’m half way done with college…or will be in about a week. I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished as much as I thought I would have by now.
I'm still scared to death...only this time, I'm over half way done. I still don't feel like I'm old enough to be doing this.
♥ I’m going to be 21 in less than 6 months but I still feel like I’m 15. I still call my mom to see what I should do with the bigger decisions of my life, I still lay in bed giggling after a boy calls me to wish me good night, I still think NSYNC and Backstreet Boys are awesome. Yup, I’m still 15 at heart…which was a little odd because I was filling out a form for Res Life yesterday and it didn’t ask how old I was; it asked how old I feel. I stopped myself from putting 15 and instead put my real age-20.
I decided to change my mind about the age-I'm really 17. I'm still young enough to get away with crying to my mom but I can drive. You can't drive and run away at 15.
♥ Every time I hear Part Two by Folk Soul Revival, I think of one person who I will never be able to be with. And I cry.
Still the same and more relevant now more than ever.
♥ I’m scared of flying to NACURH. Planes freak me out. Ever since 9/11, I’ve been terrified of flying. One of my worst fears is being on a plane and having a terrorist on there. Almost as bad as every time I’m in the hall waiting for a class, I look around to see where I would go in case someone with a gun would come into the building. Obviously, I have some abnormal fears.
I still look to see where I would go if a gunman comes in. I have one class that has no windows. That scares me.
♥ Two weeks from today, three of my best friends are going to graduate from UVa Wise. A year from now, I doubt that I’ll speak to any of them. Every time I think of that, I can feel a little piece of my heart break.
That came true about 2 weeks after they graduated. I still cry when I think about it.
♥ I think I can count my friends on less than two hands. The number of friends that would do anything for me goes down to less than one hand.
I can count my friends on one hand now.
♥ I recently discovered a website that describes me well… http://www.scorpiowoman.net/ and http://www.scorpiowoman.net/October_28_birthday_features.htm
This has stayed the same :)
♥ I’ve recently started working on calming myself by laying in bed with the window open and listening to the outside noises with my eyes closed. I start by relaxing my toes and working my way up the top of my head. The best part is I usually find myself sinking deep into thought on my matress and then processing the difficult things that way. I’ve become my own best friend that way.
I wish I could still do this.
♥ I love getting in my car and driving into Kentucky for an Ale-8-One. I think I may go now for one.
Driving still helps me but I haven't been to KY in a while...I've been going to Kingsport.

A new confession: I don't sleep. Ever. It's almost 2 and I'm not the least bit tired. I'm going to do some homework and finish listening to my sad songs and crying. I'm tired of not being me anymore. I need to fix it. I'm killing myself slowly.

The Two Man Gentleman Band

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE check these guys out. I promise, you will laugh.

http://www.thetwogentlemen.com/music/

Number 10 (I Like To Party With Girls) and number 13 (Wine, oh Wine) on Dos Amigos, Una Fiesta are my favorite songs. I laughed out loud when I saw these adorable guys at BRRR.

It's been a long month

Hello, Blog.
Have you missed me? I've missed you and have sat down to have coffee or to chat with you quite a few times but somehow, the inspiration to type isn't the same when you haven't been up for almost 24 hours.
It's been almost an entire month since I've last seen you. I can't imagine your life is exciting...I haven't been around. Mine, however, has started to spin into the wonderful life of a junior in undergrad, oh joy. Please, cuddle up on the couch and grab the extra large mug from the cabinet to pour your coffee and Italian Sweet Cream into.
School life has been getting intense. The work load isn't that bad, except for some minor freak outs with the paper, but I survived. I only have one class on Tuesday and Thursday now-yippee-but it's at 8 in the morning-boo. I love most of my classes, though, so that is fabulous. All of the classes that end in Communication, especially, have my interest. I love it. I love this major. I'm doing well. I'm going to make it. Yes.
Love life can be summed up in one word-torture. Watching someone you think you could love with someone else is heartbreaking. It's unbearable. It's too much for even you to handle, blog. (By the way, have you met my good friend, comfy bed, Gilmore Girls, and Reese cups? They've been hanging out with me and Coffee to help me try and fix this.) I think what's even worse is I thought something was finally going to happen. Finally. It's still sitting there. Waiting. Staring at me in the face. It knows I know it's there. It's hiding from me. I tried to sneak up on it today-it let me look at it. Maybe that's an improvement.
Outside of school but still on campus life is okay. I like being an RA. I've become friends with some people I usually wouldn't have interacted with. Meg and Mer are amazing and have turned into some of the greatest people here. RHA is going well. SAACURH is coming up fast. I have 180 books in my trunk for our philantrophy. cool. APO is going to be better now. I was voted in as President tonight-how exciting! Alex thinks it's funny to give me power. Jealous. hahaha
Family life is about the same. Erica and Steve moved to Ohio so I guess I won't get to see the little button whenever it's born unless I go up there (which isn't that far). I wish she was closer. Mom and Dad came to visit me a couple weeks ago. I LOVED having them here. Mom sends me a card almost every week. It makes me miss her a lot but I love getting her little notes. I have one hanging up by my desk that has a smile on the front and it says smile. On the inside, it says That's what I do when I think of you. Legit cried like a baby when I read that. Grandad's birthday came and it was really hard but we made it. I think I might go see Grandma over Fall Break for a day or two. I know she hasn't been staying at the house much because she doesn't like to be there alone. Can't say I blame her. At all.
Obsessions in my life right now:
Folk Soul Revival
Kristen Gardner Photography
Twitter
BRRR
My Crack

Well, blog, I'm glad you made it through that boring update...aren't you glad you had that coffee? Speaking of that friend, I do believe he owes me a visit. I love you, I love you, I love you.

A Post for My Big Sis

Dear Sis,
Hiiii! It's been far too long since I've seen you. I miss you! I'm so sad that you do not have a phone so I can't text you about all the exciting things that have been happening in my life and that you aren't getting my tweets. I hope to see you tomorrow at Bible Study. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Loooooooove,
me

p.s. the best part of being back in Wise is you. Let's do lunch or coffee soon? <3

helllllllo

hi, friends.

again, i've been mia. it's been a very hectic (and sometimes stressful) few weeks. let me fill you in:

a few weeks ago, grandad passed away. it was such a bittersweet moment to see him go. i know he's no longer in pain but i would sell my right arm (that's my favorite arm) to see him and hear him laugh again. his funeral was saturday, august 7th. it was such a beautiful ceremony. after that, we all headed to sherri's to hang out and visit with people that we only get to see when someone gets married or dies. i headed to burkeville the next day to cut my trip back to wise in half. i love my grandma and papaw. they always make me feel like i'm the best guest they've ever seen when i'm there. i said at donna's house sunday night with sara and headed to wise monday.

being back in wise has been bittersweet for me. it's nice because i'm back in the routine of things. i have my own room (sam and shan, i love you two dearly, but this is better) and i'm an ra which means i get a paycheck from the university...but the whole having your own room thing is the best part. it's kinda sad because i don't have that many friends here which i am okay with. i need to be focusing on other things anyway. i still have my chase to keep me from doing something stupid-ie he talked me out of another tattoo.

my girls moved in without any fuss-well, hardly any fuss. and we've all just kinda been gliding along. classes started last wednesday. i had my schedule down and kinda liked it but i had a meeting with dr. tighe and she switched it all up on me. so now, i'm taking:
mwf:
10-interpersonal comm
11-family comm
12-western lit
2-intro to journ
th:
8-stats
9:30-spanish


yes, another year of effin spanish. why did i chose a major that i had to take MORE spanish?! ugh. i'm so tired of that language.

this weekend, i'm on duty. i've been in my room for far too long and don't really care for it. i am getting a lot done so that's good. i'm waiting on my laundry to be done, i'm going to finish straightening up my room, i'll finish my homework before sunday at midnight, and i made the most delish lunch ever-nutella and strawberry sandwich and veggie snacks with ranch veggie dip. (veggie snacks are chips made out of veggies. they're amazing) as for the nutella and strawberry sandwich, you take nutella, fresh strawberries, and stick it on a piece of bread. it's simple and fabulous. you can thank me later for that.

i'm off to get my laundry out of the drier before someone puts it on the floor and then back here to do more homework.

oh, blog, i've missed you so much. promise me you'll remind me to write in you more often <3

Joseph Frederick Baxter, II
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

What an incredible man my Grandad was. Already, my family has been overwhelmed with thoughts and prayers from others sharing our sorrow to our loss of such a fabulous person. 5 years is a long time to battle anything-especially when it's cancer and it's kicking your ass. 5 years ago, it started in his colon. Then, it moved to his kidneys and then to his liver. After a short break, it showed up in his lungs and back to the kidneys and liver. Once it spreads that way, there isn't much anyone can do except stop and enjoy the last few precious moments.

A little after 7 last night, Grandad was welcomed into the Kingdom of God. There was a very intense down pour last night right before 7 and then the clouds parted and the most beautiful sunset appeared. As I was standing in awe of it, Uncle Dan called with the news. My dad said Grandma Sadie was so happy to see Grandad and her joy was shining down. I believe it 110%.

Leaving to be with family tomorrow, this is my last day in Warrenton. I'm a frantic mess, running around with errands, packing everything up for school, cleaning because Erica is here and David is flying in tonight. But blogging is a good release for me. Blogging will help me remember how I was feeling, what I was feeling, help me grasp the lingering thoughts of this sad time in my life.

Thank you to all who have supported us during this time. We love you!

Grandma and Grandad meeting me for the first time.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

The final days of someone's life makes you think...

...and I've been wondering if I'm going to be loved as much as my Grandad. There have been visitors, phone calls, and letters pouring into their house non-stop in the last week that he's been home with hospice. I can't believe it's only been a week...feels like it's been a lot longer. People from the church, family, friends, customers, fellow employees, neighbors, all of these people praying and supporting my wonderful grandparents.

It's going to be strange for me to go to the beach and only see Grandma. Grandad was always there greeting me with a smile and a "hi, hon!", making me laugh, cooking something. He almost always had a tropical print shirt on and a beer in his hand. He would tell the funniest jokes and stories about his childhood-my favorite is when he "borrowed" the duck from the zoo and the police followed him and his friend-and about how he loved life.

I see so much of my him in my dad and I can only hope that in time, some of those characteristics will show up in me. The characteristics to be a people person, to have a fabulous business mind, to network with people so they always remember you. My grandparent's neighbor, Mike, and I were talking Sunday before I left and he said that in the short time that he's known them, they've always had a smile on their face and a friendly wave and word to share. He said it hurts him to have to see such a good person in pain. And I agree. I'm not the first to say but I'll say it loud and clear-CANCER SUCKS.

Dad just called and he said Dan told him the nurse said it would probably be today or tonight. Broken, I sit here and continue to type as I think back to the Grandad I saw just a few days ago-laying in a bed, oxygen flowing, hardly able to talk. No words of wisdom came from his mouth. No jokes. No smiles. His eyes were hardly open. This is not the Grandad I know. The Grandad I know is funny with a belly laugh that will make even the saddest person crack a smile.

I'm going upstairs now to pack. Daddy and I are going to get Erica and bring her home tonight. David is flying in soon. All of this is happening so fast and it sucks.

Oh~by the way-Happy Birthday, Daddy. I love you lots.

Grandad and me at David's birthday party-May 1990.

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...

...Well, what if you didn't sign up for extra-strength training? What if you'd rather catch a few breaks once in awhile? Is that so much to ask?
At some point, you'd think you'd be entitled to a free pass or two:
skip this challenge.
avoid that crisis.
delete those problems.
It's not that you're not strong or that you don't have what it takes to get through this.
YOU ARE, YOU DO, AND YOU WILL.
But you've built enough character already, and it's time for things to lighten up a little!
I know it's not really my call, but if I were in charge of life's wheel of fortune, you'd get a free spin. And I'd be right there, cheering you on.
~Linda Barnes

Missing Alexander Already

My time with Alexander came to an end last night. After a couple months with him as my main job, I came to love and care for him as if he was my own kid. Being an adopted child from Russia, I knew I had my work cut out for me because of his adjustments in the states. He grew into such a sweet toddler, I cried and cried when I left him last night. Thinking back on all the things he's learned since I've been with him-how to say yes please, understanding what things are, asking for more food, saying no thank you, speaking simple words, how to run, how to sleep without screaming, hugs and kisses-my heart is full knowing that I helped him learn these things. I helped him know that people love him and are going to take care of him. Tearing up just thinking about him, I'm so sad that I probably won't see him again until Christmas. Alexander, you were my sunshine this summer. Thank you so much for teaching me to remember to be kind to others and to take the time to get to learn about them. I love you, Monkey.

Update on Grandad

Hello friends.
Today, I'm writing on a very personal note. I'd like to ask you to keep my family in your prayers. I came home last night from work and was greeted with news from Dad about Grandad. He's being released from the hospital tomorrow (if everything goes well with moving the right equipment into the house) and will be coming home to hospice. It's my understanding that things will probably progress quickly from there. I think I'm okay with it too, which is sort of weird to me. I think I'm just so ready for him not to be in pain anymore. I'm so worried about my Grandma though. I have this terrible feeling that she's going to not be able to handle it very well. So today, in the house by myself, I'm praying for my grandparents and my family.
For Grandad-may he not be in pain and be ready to meet the face of God.
For Grandma-may she not be worried about anything. I pray she gets rest and is full of peace knowing that Grandad won't be in pain when he's in Heaven and to know he'll be watching down on her and still holding onto her heart every day.
For Dad, Sherri, and Dan-I pray that they know that their dad is in a much better place and happy. Grandad will be able to jump up and down knowing that the cancer didn't really beat him because he got the better end of the deal.
And for the rest of the family-I hope we don't turn our backs and are angry at God during this time. God's in charge of our lives whether we like to think so or not For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD and He's going to go through with what He knows is best. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Friends, I ask that you be patient with me during this time. If I'm in a mood, just give me a hug or tell me it's going to be okay. Make me smile and remember what's good. I love you all. Thanks for praying with me.

where did you go?

Monkey feeding himself breakfast. Can you stand it?!

Oh, summer...where are you?

Ever since I took this amazing nannying job, I haven't had a summer. Now, I have about 2 weeks left in Warrenton and no sign of vacation or relaxation is in sight. I'm thinking about taking the last week off from everything so I can relax and get everything done I need to do. I have to finish moving stuff into my room (I know, it still isn't done!) and go visit grandparents, especially Grandad. I know I'm going to regret if I don't get down and see him before I go back to school. Plus, I have to get all my RA stuff together and start on my door decs and thinking of bulletin boards. Yikes.

And with all that going on, I'm sitting here blogging. I guess I can't complain too bad. But, in my defense, I am sick. I got home last night and was up all night sick. It's a nasty little bug I picked up from Joe and Susan. Bleck.

And a quick update on Alexander because I know some of you love him as much as I do...and I love him sooo much! I'm going to miss this little one when I leave...especially after yesterday. He woke up and I went to get him out of his crib. He showered me with kisses and squeezes (his new favorite thing to do when I get him up) and then he looked at me and said Emmmm I luh oooh. omg, my heart melted. Seriously, it was in a puddle. Then, all day, he would come up to me, hug me, and say luh ooh. He also learned that if he holds my face still, he can bite me. Lovely. I love him anyway.

Oops, I did it again

Hello, long lost blog! I'm glad to see you're still here. I'm so sorry I have been ignoring you...I've been blogging in my mind (which in 10 years will do me good. lol)

Well...not much has happened in my life. I've just been busy with Alexander (who is still as freakin cute as ever!) and working, working, working! I'm rolling in cash right now (Praise God) but, of course, will be making a trip to the mall tomorrow. Sigh. You know me~money burns holes in my pocket. Alexander has been keeping me on my toes so this money has been well earned. This week, we discovered smoothies and his extended love for three of my favorite things~Lady GaGa, Starbucks, and Target. And! He's really into watching the Food Network now. It cracks me up. He sits on my lap and watches and concentrates and nods his head yes like he understands. The other day, someone was making something with a banana and he licked the screen. It cracked me up. All of you know how much he loves his banana and the weird stories I have to prove it. One day this week, I was driving home from work and Alexander started crying. He was so pitiful and his bottom lip was so far out. He just kept crying "nana. nana." I turned around at a stoplight and asked him if he was hungry and he shook his head yes and kept crying "nana". Truly hearbreaking. I got home and looked in his bag and nobody had given him his banana. Yes, one simple banana can make or break this kid's day. His love for bananas mirrors my love for wine, though and I'm starting to think he's really suppose to be my kid. After a long day at work, sometimes I'm in the kitchen crying "wine. wine. wine."haha

I'm going to back track a bit-last weekend, I went to the beach for a visit with the grandparents. On our way down, we got a phone call that Grandad was going back into the hospital. :( He was in the ICU until Sunday night. They moved him into a stepdown room (a little less than ICU, a little more care than a regular room). He's been a sick, sick guy, though. He went into the hospital and found out he had a blood infection and clot on top of cancer in two spots. God love him, he's pushing on. Today, I talked to Grandma and he wanted to go home but was afraid to be there alone (since Grandma's at the shop) so he's in a rehab place to get his strength back. He starts chemo again Tuesday. The doctors and our family thought it was the end and Grandad said he wants a fighting chance and he's ready to put it up again.

I've been looking at old pictures of family and friends lately. There's a huge box with a bunch of them in it. I found pictures from Mom and Dad's wedding, all of our family vacations, babies, and so much more. There has been so much laughter over some of these pictures lately. It's nice to hear the stories (or what they remember) and to imagine what everyone is thinking in the pictures. I think that's a huge part of why I love having myself surrounded by pictures~they make you remember things you wouldn't normally remember. I found an adorable picture of me when I was a baby. Grandad is in the backyard holding me and I'm smiling down at him. And for the last week, I've been crying every time I think of him. Right before I left the ICU room, I told him I loved him and I'd be back soon and he told me how proud of me he was and he said (get your tissue ready) "I love you to eternity and back." (And yes, I'm tearing up right now) Sigh.

I've also been battling some sort of weird sickness this week. Sunday night, I got home and had a terrible migraine. I could feel it coming on and I knew it was going to be a bad one. Sometime between then and Monday morning, I threw up twice and spiked a fever. I stayed in bed all day (thank God I didn't have to work) and rested up for Tuesday and Alexander. I got up and went to work and threw up there before he woke up. Yuck. Luckily, I have the world's best boss and she had me take it easy this week and work on VBS stuff. Then, I developed a weird rash and went to the doctor. She wasn't any help and said she didn't know what it was and had never seen anything like it. Fabulous. She did give me a shot of something for my migraine (which I still have...6 days later!) The shot worked and I felt better until it wore off. Excedrin and coke have been my best friends. Hopefully, I'll wake up in the morning, not feeling like P Diddy, but feeling 110% better!

Oh yes, I almost forgot. Monday, I helped Tommy and Katie, along with their family and friends, celebrate Olive turning two! I can't believe that. Kristen Gardner (who I ADORE!) shot some really sweet pictures of her. Check out her blog www.kristengardnerblog.com to see them! And then Thursday was Camdon's first birthday. He wasn't feeling well but I'm sure he still enjoyed the day. Love you buddy!

Next week is VBS (which will be crazy) so I'm sorry if I don't update this as often or as long as I should. If you're really interested in stalking me, follow me on Twitter. emlaaay :)

holy moley

wooooow...a TON has happened since the last time i blogged. care for an update? you're in luck; it's right below!



the last time i blogged, i was leaving the beach to head to burkeville to see my lovely grandparents. before leaving, i went by grandma and grandad's house to hang out for a bit. as i got there, there was a guy (who totally looked like timbaland) delievering grandad's wheelchair. that was probably one of the hardest things to see...grandad down to nothing and sitting in a wheelchair. his humor is still there, though, as he asked the guy how fast it goes and if he can lay it back so he take a nap. :)



i made it to burkeville in one piece and got to spend some time with them. the next day, i got up, went to church, saw my fabulous aunt donna, and then went back to the house and saw my fabulous aunt debbie, who i hadn't seen in like 2 1/2 years since before she moved to georgia. i hated to leave them but i had to get back to work that week.



alexander cut two teeth before i went to california. hopefully, he's done for a while~poor baby was just miserable.



i left for wise thursday with james and allen. i could not have asked for two better people to travel with...our car was full of jokes and laughter, my favorite! plus, good music and singing 80's hits is always good in my book.



friday, we left for cincinnati international airport which is actually in northern kentucky and not ohio at all...fail. the flight out was a little rough and i was soo super nervous. plus, gaining 3 hours was interesting. i was exhausted.

saturday, we walked and walked and climbed hills and walked some more. we spend time at seaport village (yay!) and went to the padre's game. the o's beat them (again, yay even though it's a team from md). walking up and down all those hills was insane but a good way to work out.

sunday, we went on bus tours of san diego~balboa park, old town, la jolla and beaches, and other random fun things along the way. it was sooo much fun but i got burnt! i'm a nice brown color now.

monday, my buddy howard took us to UCSD for the conference. while some of the things didn't go as smooth as everyone had hoped, it was still a ton of fun! opening was a blast and SAACURH won best roll call! :)

tuesday and wednesday were programs and boardroomy things. i wore dresses. boardroom is intense and I LOVED IT! wednesday night, wise did swap shop. i walked away with tons more than i came with...so did james. 17 t shirts. holy cow! that kid now has 2 weeks worth of shirts and then some!

thursday, we checked out, i called howard back, and wise and uk went to the zoo. omg, i love the zoo. san diego has THE BEST ZOO IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! my favorite animals were...the pandas, of course! and the polar bear. he was soo stinking funny. sigh.

we made our way to the airport when the zoo closed and waited and waited and waited. our flight was suppose to take off at 11 but it didn't take off until 11:45, 15 minutes after all san diego flights have to be off the ground. i wonder if delta got a fine for that...okay, i know they did. the only good thing about being delayed was i got to see evan lysacek in the airport. yummy. the best part was talking to the guy who picked him up...he didn't know who he was. silly guy.

we got back to wise and i turned around and went home. good lord. driving after only having about 3 hours of sleep was crazy. me and allen made it safe, though. we entertained each other and kept one another awake. we did, however, pull over in a sheetz parking lot and slept for a while...oops. haha

annnnnnnd....i got home last night to find out my baby sister is getting married! yayyyy! congrats, erica and steve!

when i went to bed last night, it had been 52 hours since i had gotten out of one. i fell asleep almost right away and slept for 15 hours. crazy. chinese food tonight and back to reality tomorrow.

thanks for reading. hope it was mildly entertaining for you. california was amazing for me but i'm so glad to be home!

Beachy Keen

The beach is just beachy keen this week. There is a Latin Fest going on down here and the National Sand Soccer Championship for North America this weekend. It's amazing. Sand soccer is SO much fun to play. (Good luck to all the teams!) Plus, the music on 33rd was really good last night and I enjoyed the fireworks and World Cup coverage while laying in the sand.

Have you ever noticed how footprints look in the sand? I was walking along the beach today and turned around to take a picture of my footprints. I glanced over to my left and saw a crazy maze of bird tracks. How weird is it that birds hop on the ground? I loved looking at the prints, almost telling a crazy story of a bird lost and spinning around in circles when he could have just flown to wherever he was going. Random but true.

I came to the beach on Thursday. I came down to see Grandad. He isn't doing very well. He went for fluids yesterday and was getting a handicap parking pass, a wheelchair, and information about a feeding tube. Seeing him shrivel down to just about nothing has been very hard. I think what's even harder is just his body is wearing out-his mind is still there and sharp. He cracked a few jokes to me but then was worn out from laughing. Grandad used to have this crazy funny belly laugh. I would give anything to hear him laugh like that again.

I leave the beach this afternoon to go to Burkeville to visit Grandma and Papaw. I'm excited to see Aunt Debbie. It's been about 2 1/2 years. Can't believe that. I'll update when I get home tomorrow.

Oh-I got my tragus pierced yesterday. It didn't hurt at all. A little uncomfortable while Chris put the jewlery in, but great other than that. It was cool to get it done and then walk around on the sand right afterwards. Perks of the beach, right? :)

An Unusual Day

Hello, friends!

I'm having a very unusual day that I thought I'd blog about (because what else am I going to do?!)

I woke up at 4:30 this morning, as usual, to go to Alexander's house and nanny my squirt. I've been taking him with me to Kingdom's Kids this week. The program starts at 9. I knew I wasn't working but I was still going to take him to hang out and such. He didn't wake up until 8:45. That's the longest he's ever slept...EVER. I was getting a little worried but he didn't have a fever and seemed to be acting normal...until we got downstairs. Oyi.

He ate yogurt and pears for breakfast. Usually, he's very independent but he wanted me to feed him this morning and every time he pointed to his cup, I had to hold it while he drank out of it. Then, he screamed in the car to town. I think his teeth are bothering him again. :(

I took him into the center, signed him in, and ran. lol Make someone else deal with him for a bit. My plan was to come home, take a nap, shower, and then go out. I got home and decided I wasn't really tired so I took a shower (for an hour!) and now, here I am. I feel a little bad because we talk about the moms who drop their kiddos off and then go home and sleep but here I am doing the same thing. He drove me crazy this morning, but I miss my little snuggles. I think I may pick him up a little early and take him home to play. It's raining, otherwise, we'd go to the park.

Tomorrow, I'm only with Alexander a half day. I'll take him to KK with me and leave at 1 without him. It's going to be so weird. But! I'll be headed down to la playa so I'm SO SUPER EXCITED! I'll be staying on the beach in the penthouse so yay me! It'll be a nice mini vaca and hopefully, I'll get some sun before I head out west (which is a week from tomorrow...can you believe that?!).

I'm off to lay on the couch and watch some trashy daytime tv. Love to you all. <3

I'm Alive...Barely

Yes, friends, I am alive. This past weekend, I spent the weekend just with myself. It was a much needed get away, complete with some fun times in the pool and a couple of good movies.

Yesterday and today, I've been working doubles~I wake up at 4:30 to get to Alexander's house. Then I get him up and dressed, feed him, pack him a lunch, and head into work. I'm so lucky I have a job where I can be surrounded my kiddos and can keep Alexander too. Kingdom's Kids wears me out, though. Yesterday, I got home around 6:45 and was asleep on the couch by 8. I got up and took a shower and got bit by a spider. That sucked really bad.

Thursday, I'm heading to the beach for a mini vaca and to see Grandad. A week from Thursday, I'm leaving for Wise to go to San Diego! It's it crazy how fast the end of June has come? It's crazy how fast life goes by too. Yesterday was the two year mark of me graduating high school. TWO YEARS! I told mom I felt old. She said I shouldn't because it's been 30 since she was in high school. haha

I'm going to take a mini nap while Alexander sleeps...shh. <3

Lessons Learned Before 6 AM

Top 5 lessons learned before 6 AM this morning:

Number 5: Spiders jump. Screaming makes them jump higher.
Number 4: If you're missing your keys, obviously, look in the fridge on top of the lunch you packed. duh.
Number 3: Wildlife does not care that you are speeding towards them. They will stop and pee in the middle of the road.
Number 2: Dogs do not like it when you accidently knock their water bowl over. Just so you know...
Number 1: Oatmeal will boil in the microwave in 20 seconds. If using this method, do not do it in a little coffee cup.


Lord knows I'll have many more lessons later. Today is an exciting day, though. I'm taking Alexander for his first playdate with Azlyn and Kaile and then to Carousel for his first cup of ice cream! Last week, he had his first trip to the park. Yesterday, he had his first lollipop from the bank and had his first dip in the stream at Rady Park. He also learned how to grab faces and give kisses yesterday. He's such a little lovebug.

Well, I'm off to clean up the kitchen a bit, get breakfast ready to go, and then get ready to play. :)

Alexander

Some of you have been asking what I've been doing this summer. I'm working at Kingdom's Kids part time and nannying Alexander. He's 19 months old and was recently adopted from Russia. Since he was in an orphanage, he's not quite functioning on a 19 month old level. This is my second week nannying for him and already, I've seen him grow so much. He's soo sweet. This little guy has a tight hold on my heart. Here are some pictures I shot this morning of him. :)

Playing with his airplane. He loves it.

Typical Alexander face. You can tell he's up to something.

I don't know what's up with him and his tongue this morning. I think he's cutting teeth. :(

My favorite. If you could hear him laugh, your heart would melt.

I'll post more later. Right now, he's taking his morning nap and I'm going to get a jump start on fixing his lunch.

Here's to Coffee and a Sleeping Baby :)

Ready for some hard truth twisting questions?
Okay

Who are you dating?
Nobody at the moment. And I'm happy.

Do you have one best friend?
I have a couple best friends.

Do you look decent when you wake up?
Depends on how I go to bed...with the bangs, if I go to bed with my hair wet, I wake up looking like Tarzan.

Will this weekend be a good one?
I'm nannying, babysitting, house sitting, and working. It'll be good but busy.

Laid on a bed with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
I have in the past.

The last person that made you angry, did you tell them?
No.

Hows the heart?
Guarded.

Is it hard to make you laugh?
Not at all

Chocolate or coffee?
Hmm...I'd say both

You think "I love you" are strong words?
Yes.

Do you pay with cash, credit/debit, or checks most often?
Credit. I hate having cash...I spend it like crazy.

Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships?
One person.

Do you remember who you liked this time 3 months ago?
Ehhh

Is there a guy that knows a lot about you?
Yeah.

Do you have on make-up?
Nope.

Is the person you last texted single?
Nope

Do you have more then two piercings?
Sure do.

Are you the type of person who seeks out revenge?
Haha, I try not to be.

When you think of the word 'blueberry' what do you think?
Muffin.

When's the last time you took a nap?
Last week.

Literally, do you judge books by their covers?
No.

Which one - taco bell or wendys?
Taco Bell!

Who's bed were you in last besides yours?
Kaile's.

When applying eyeliner, which eye do you do first?
Right.

How many siblings does your mom have?
Two.

Gummies or fruit roll ups?
Roll Ups!

Who were you with last night?
I was sleeping. I went to bed at 8:30. haha

Do you have sweet dreams?
Sometimes.

Do you have a condom in your room?
No.

Interested in anyone at the moment?
Not anymore.

How is your hair currently styled?
Up in a bun.

What are you wearing tomorrow?
Probably sweatpants and a t shirt. Alexander makes me run around.

Do you like to wear flip-flops?
Yeah.

Who is the last person you kissed?
Camdom. haha my life is so uneventful.

Have you kissed them more than 20 times?
Probably

What do you hate about winter?
Ice.

Are you sarcastic?
Always.

What do you hate about summer?
Hot cars.

Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
Yeah. He was about two hours old. Love.

Were you intoxicated the last time you threw up?
No.

Have you held hands with someone in the past week?
Just little kiddos.

Do you like anyone right now?
Not really.

Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Yes.

Is there anyone in the room with you?
Nope.

Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
I hate skinny jeans.

When was the last time you were really stressed?
Last week.

Do you follow your head more or your heart?
I listen to both.

Where will you be in five hours?
Probably feeding Alexander lunch.

Do you think that you will be married within ten years?
I hope so.

What is today's date?
June 2nd.

What was the last thing you ate?
Maple Nut Clif Bar...it was delish! Try one!

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?
Yeah.

Is your last name longer than 6 letters?
It's 6 letters.

Do you like to run?
Sometimes.

Have you ever slept a whole day away?
Yeah.

Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friends?
Yup.

Would you rather get a new puppy or a new car?
Car. No doubt.

Where did you get the pants you are wearing from?
JC Pennys

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about your feelings?
Clint, when he wants to listen.

What do you currently hear right now?
Alexander snoring.

Are you cheating on someone right now?
Nope.

When was the last time you saw a cop?
This morning.

What don’t you leave the house without?
My purse and everything in it.

Have you ever stayed in a hotel?
I love hotels!

Are you ticklish?
Yes. Very.

Who was the last person you said "I love you" to?
Mom

When you hold hands do you interlock fingers?
Yes. And my thumb is on the inside. Bruce likes it.

Do you have both a loud side and a quiet side?
Yes.

At the beginning of the summer, who were you in a relationship with?
Nobody.

What about the end?
It isn't over.

Who is the next person you will hold hands with?
I don't know.

How was last night?
Uneventful. I blogged, ate dinner, then went to bed.

How are you feeling right now?
Good.

What shoes did you wear today?
Navy Blue flip flops from Old Navy.

What's the last sporting event you watched?
Hockey.

Are you wearing socks?
Nope

Who was the last person you went out to eat with?
Crystal, Nathan, and Kaile after Kaile's graduation.

What do you have to do tomorrow?
Nanny

Do you currently like anyone?
NO!

Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
Yup.


Well that was dumb. But a good waste of 10 minutes.

Oh, Tuesdays

At work, the first Tuesday of the month means one thing: MOPS! Alexander is in North Carolina today with his parents so I didn't have to get up before the sun to watch him. I texted Megan last night to see if I could come into work to go through my summer stuff and she asked me to work. I knew it would be for MOPS so I wasn't too worried about it (it's the easiest two hours). I get there: 27 MOPS KIDS ARE SIGNED UP FOR TODAY! 27! Last month, I had 5! Panic? A little. 27!!! It ended up being okay...we only had 17. :)

I got to see my Camdon today. I love him so much. He's so stinking sweet. And Thomas crawled!!! :D

As for the summer stuff, I went through a bit of it and brought the rest home. I'm planning on relaxing tonight and going through bits and pieces of it. It starts in two weeks...when I'm in CALIFORNIA!!! (Everytime I say California, I say it like the cow on the cheese commercial. :) )

Momma just got home so I'm off to compare days. Dinner will have to be quick because I'm going to be in bed by 8:30 tonight! Love.

Addicted!

Oh my goodness...I may or may not have a new obsession...MY BLOG!
I've spent all day dolling it up. I log onto it all the time. Lordy Gee, what have I created for myself?

The background of it is my new favorite, too. And I added pictures down the side, a link to my Twitter, and a music player.

Hope you all enjoy the face lift as much as I do :)

Happy Memorial Day!

This is a quick thanks to the men and women who have served our country, protected our freedom, and gave up their livelihood for our lives. Thank you.

On this beautiful day, I got to sleep until 10:00 (!!!) and spend time with my mom and dad. We're cooking out later so it'll be fun. Maybe I'll be able to get some pictures of everyone.

I gotta go jump in the shower, though, and get ready to run to town. Enjoy the day, everyone!

Memorial Day Weekend

Hello! Wow, what a crazy few weeks it's been. It's nice to know it's Memorial Day weekend and there isn't going to be anything to do tomorrow (even mom's off...wow!).

I've been nannying the past week...CRAZY! Alexander is so stinkin cute, though. And he's such a good little boy. He's got a hold of my heart, though, let me tell you! I'm pretty sure one day, I'm going to just bring him home with me. The little time I spent with him last week (okay, it was more than a little bit of time) I already saw him grow and develop. I'm so proud of him. He's been through so much, I hope he's happy now.

Friday, I got to hang out with Kaile and Crystal all day. That was super fun. It started out with me picking Kaile up at the doctor's office, taking her to get breakfast, then to school. After I dropped her off, I went and took care of some VACURH stuff at Wachovia and then went and bought her flowers and hung out with Crystal for a little bit. Crys, me, and Nathan then headed over to St. James to watch Kaile's graduation. I can't believe she's going to Kindergarten in the fall. :( We went to lunch after she played with her classmates at the picnic and then to Rady Park and Borders. That girl was spoiled rotten Friday but it was her special day. I babysat Haylee and Kerrington Friday night, too. Those girls are a mess but I love them to pieces.

Yesterday, I went shopping with Alyse. It's weird to think I started watching her when she was in preschool and now she's in middle school and going to lunch and shopping with me. It's really cool that I can maintain friendships with families like that. She's a crack up too.

OH! I FINALLY GOT MY CAKE SHAKE LAST NIGHT! :)

This morning, Mom and Dad headed up to WV to see Erica. I stayed home and went to church. Jason's band was leading worship. They did an AMAZING job! They're awesome. Check em out here: http://www.myspace.com/adoniaband. I promise you'll be glad you did.

Well, I'm off to maybe start thinking about some dinner. I made California Chicken Salad for lunch and it was delish...wonder what I can make up for dinner. :)

Switching It Up

Hello, loves.
I decided to switch my blog over to blogspot. This makes it easier to manage my other blogs. To see what I've previously written, look at www.emlaaay.wordpress.com. :)